April 8, 2012

We went out this afternoon, for the last time before he leaves again tomorrow afternoon for Manila and then later in June, outside the country to go sailing the world, like literally. That three hours I spent with him was happy but full of sadness at the same time. We wouldn’t see each other again for a very long time, and all I can do is wait for his overseas calls and worry a lot about his health and safety (I’m probably going to start praying to a deity whose existence I doubt for him). Anyway we watched Hunger Games. He seemed to like the movie because he’s interested enough to ask me questions about the book (I’m such a spoiler that he said he should have just paid me for narrating the story instead of going to the movie). Actually, I’ve watched the movie about 5 times already because I downloaded it from torrent but I didn’t tell him that. I wasn’t really watching the movie, though. I spent my time in that darkened theatre staring at his face, how his mouth twists and his brows furrow as he goes through the intense scenes of the movie. I love watching him, and I might as well get a years’ worth of looking at his face because this wouldn’t happen again until he gets back. It makes me sad thinking about it but he told me not to think it’s going to be a long wait. He wants me to think he is always by my side. I almost cried when he said that, but I don’t want to make our situation harder than it is so I just smiled and thanked him and promised him no matter what I’m going to wait for him to get back. We will be together someday.  It’s going to be long and it’s going to be hard but I will be strong. For him.

                We talked on the phone for about an hour. I told him about my plans in life, like how I’m going to finish college this year and then work for a year after and then get my Master’s degree. He’s very supportive of me. I’m glad he listens whenever I talk about my life even though I’m pretty sure it’s boring to him. He doesn’t talk much, he doesn’t give any opinion, he sometimes makes a joke about me sometimes but I’m happy that he listens and remembers every detail about me. It always surprises me when he inserts something about me in a conversation we have, like a very small information that I thought he’d forget easily. It makes me feel that he really cares about me even though he can’t always show it. Actually I began to appreciate him more after I read Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. It’s a very helpful book. Anyway, I also made him talk about his plans for the future, and I’m happy to see how much he had figured out what he wants to do with his life. He’s actually more prepared about the future than I am. I was about to ask him about his plan B if ever A doesn’t work out but I don’t want to ruin the moment. I want him to feel capable of doing anything, that plan B isn’t needed. But of course I’m going to prepare him for that, I’m just going to talk to him about that slowly. But I appreciate him. There’s actually more to him than what meets the eye. His heart and his dreams are bigger than his dragon tattoo. ♥